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Family gathering, with all its ups and downs!

Updated: Jan 20

This time of the year is often rich in emotions: joy, excitement, anxiety, anger, disappointment, frustration... We plan family gatherings or on the contrary we look for ways to avoid them, or we feel guilty for not being able to be present. The happy or wounded child that we are comes out at these celebrations. The emotions linked to childhood are the most powerful because they have the strength of the imagination attached to them.

Before or after, it is perhaps a good moment to explore them, to look at them and to regain some kind of calm and serenity. Emotions may be the response to a physiological need (such as hunger, sleep, security) or a psychological need (love, recognition, belonging). We can be hungry because it's time, we haven't eaten for six hours ... but food can also be our way of dealing with anxiety or a lack. They are beneficial in their role of messengers, and knowing how to recognize them and listen to them helps us to move forward more calmly. I will mention just a few of them: - Anger speaks to us of injustice and the need for respect. - Sadness is there to show us an end and a beginning. - Fear tells us that we are projecting the past into the future. - Boredom asks us to find new challenges. - Joy, on the other hand, is a state of ecstasy due to a balance sought and found. They are also complex, for example, excitement is a projection of joy mixed with fear. They are excessive at times, which can lead to negative reactions. Excessive anger turns into rage, excessive joy into exaltation, and so on, and this process activates and creates tension in the different systems of the body (digestive, cardiovascular, hormonal, respiratory, etc.) in an excessive and dangerous way if the tension is prolonged. Each event of our adult life that resonates with what happened in childhood brings us back to the emotion that is linked to it, whether it is positive or negative. We all have our little "Proust's madeleines" that trigger our childhood memories – the smell of chocolate pastries, of the Christmas tree... but also the little offending remark that reminds us of a betrayal, a rejection, a feeling of abandonment, of "I'm worthless". Trauma is not necessarily linked to an extreme event, such as an aggression; simple words can leave equally deep marks, hence the importance of exploring our wounds.

An unmanaged emotion easily takes over and our reactions become excessive and impulsive, leaving us unable to keep our perspective in dealing with a situation. To stop this vicious circle, it is possible to learn to recognize our emotions in order to identify the need behind them and then look for the cause. It is often a fear of not being good enough, of not being likeable, of losing one's independence, etc. Because kinesiology is a technique that allows you to engage in a dialogue with your body and its memories, it can be of great help in the process of identifying and healing your wounds. There are also other techniques for releasing emotions. You must find the one that suits you best, that brings you the most joy – and that can change over time, because nothing is fixed. Change is not the goal, it is the process of finding yourself and your balance.

Image de Freepik

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